There are so many things that people don’t really tell you about pregnancy. Like how you can be starving, revolted by all food products on Earth, and nauseous at the same time. How does that work?!?! Or better, how you can finally be hungry (after praying for it to happen all day), you make yourself a nice healthy mealyour husband drives to buy you a pint of Haagen-Dazs, and then two bites in, you don’t want it. Read that closely folks, you put down the spoon and stop eating Haagen-Dazs! What in the world is going on with me?!? Who am I anymore?
Also, let’s talk about “morning” sickness. Who created that lie? There I was thinking that yes, pregnancy would be rough, especially at first. But really, I would just get up in the morning, puke my brains out, and go on with my day. That’s morning sickness for you, right? Wrong. How about all-day-long, might-puke-at-any-moment sickness? How about that instead?
To clarify, I haven’t actually gotten sick even once, but still there’s the threat of it all the time. Could the 24 hour threat (and I mean this quite literally, as in, I wake up at 3:30 in the morning from a dead sleep so I can feel nauseous) actually be worse than just getting it all out in the morning and moving on? Oh, young, naive, learned-everything-you-knew-about-pregnancy-from-TV, me. You were so cute.
So what have I been eating these past few weeks that doesn’t make my stomach flip? A steady diet of Cheddar & Sour Cream chips and red Gatorade. With the occasional Cheez-It, orange juice, or egg roll thrown in. Nothing but the best around these parts.
**And now I want Haagen-Dazs and egg rolls for lunch. Lord beer me strength.